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If Only it Were that Simple.... |
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9:35 p.m.~2005-04-18 This weekend started off OK, with me having Friday off as I do every other week. It quickly spiraled into a series of unfortunate events. One of the worst parts about owning a new home is dealing with incompetent repair/delivery/service people. Not once, not twice, but three times I was stood up this weekend. First, by the guy who was supposed to paint my fridge white, to match my other appliances? Second, by THE SAME GUY, the next day in his make-up appointment. Third by the plumber who was supposed to repair the handle for my bathtub faucet. You never appreciate the conveniences of apartmenthood until you have one weekend when everything goes wrong in your home. SO I decided to paint the fridge myself. I am actually quite proud of myself for thinking of this as I paid a total of $20.45 for the spray paint and supplies instead of the $183 for the guy to come and do it for me. The damage to the kitchen, however, was another story. I now have a fine mist of white on my: favorite knife, saucepan, peanut butter jar, fork, teaspoon, small plate, pickle jar, six pack of diet Dr. Pepper, watch, wine glass, bottle of Chenin Blanc, and LAMINATE FLOOR. It�s the last that I am most upset about. The scrubbing I did this weekend is enough to cover my bicep curl workout for the next month! So I then had to get the paint off of my: feet, portions of hair not covered by head scarf, hands, arms, face, and chest. In my panic stricken attempt to GET IT OFF! (I wasn't quite sure about the resiliency of appliance paint on skin) I broke the knob on my tub, leaving it in a permanent state of scalding. In my attempt to "fix it" I ultimately "broke it off." Thus the need for the plumber. Later that night my mother (after hearing about my adventures in homeownership) pointed out that scientists have proven that it is good to laugh at least 15 times a day. I wasn't sure until the next day when I saw something that was good for the rest of this week. I was on my way to Lowe's to get a new faucet when I happened to be cut off by someone who previously had been pass-worthy. I was prepared to get steamed (read my Rules of the Road entry) when I saw the bumper sticker. The first line was "bring back the good old days of". At this point I was expecting something racist or political or ignorant, this being Texas and all. But the second part read Peace, Prosperity (Ah, a liberal!?!?), and Blowjobs. I nearly choked from laughing. This was one of those bumper stickers that forced you to ignore your personal rules of the road so you can get a good look at the driver. At this point I was still expecting some version of your typical frat boy...until I caught a glimpse of grey hair in the driver side mirror. That made me laugh even harder. But there was still more to come. As the car turned into the same parking lot I was I saw it was a little old WOMAN! This brought up not only more laughter, but a whole range of ideas about this particular situation: 1) Was it put there by some prankster unbeknownst to this woman? 2) Did she know it was there and just couldn't get it off? 3) Did she know it was there and just didn't care? 4) Did she put it there just to see the reactions of people behind her in traffic? Considering it was a blue Caddy, I knew it had to be her car. What's the world coming to when you can't drive to the local hardware store without being tainted by the image of someone's grandma giving head?
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Crushing on Dean (Sigh!) - 2005-06-30
When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Desiderius Erasmus Currently Reading: |
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